Pain. It’s a kaffarah say they. How many of us really think of it as expiation to erase our sins when pain befalls us? One thing that we need to remind ourselves is that pain doesn’t come in one form…but many forms. From physical body ache like stomachache, headache and fatigue to the heartache like sadness, sorrow or distress.
Narrated Abu Sa’id Al-Khudri and Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that.”
I have been sick for almost two weeks now and it’s not easy for myself nor people around me. Most of the time I try to apply the-rule-of-life act the way I want to feel. Jovial I was then. But then when the day goes and the virus decides to party harder in the abode of my bodily system, I succumb. That’s when I feel defeated and want to RIP (momentarily).
I’m trying to search for the silver linings of happiness in the mass of dark clouds. When breathing becomes a hard earned effort and swallowing saliva feels like a dagger splitting the throat, how I long for things I never even wish let alone thank Allah for. Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah.
1. I lost my phone to a jamban cangkung so horrible that it died right away. Astaghfirullah which part of my harta/rezqi that wasn’t halal or berkat. It may be amusing to some but to me, it hit right in the core of my heart to see the new gift from my husband get flushed away before my eyes. It happened too quickly but hurt deeply. Inshallah through this, Allah cleanse me and him.
2. It’s Bettunia’s first day send-off-to-school by her daddy alone (because I’ve been sick) as we speak. She was poorly and crying like crazy for me, asking me to pick her up. Her daddy just patiently and buat2 pekak took her to the car and drove off. With all the kl jumaat traffic jam, her forever borderline body temperature gate pass and hingus meleleh. I don’t have the slightest idea how he’s dealing with it. Dear Allah, please send down some miracles of Yours and let there be a good news. I’m dying over worrying here so please expiate our sins. Maybe sins during the time when we were too happy to remember You. Astaghfirullah.
3. Being sickly hurts. That reminds me how much I could’ve hurt others and You from my words and action. Because remember, pain comes in many forms right. They say dying hurts. Maybe that’s Your way to cleanse us before we meet You? Maybe not completely cleansed but with Your mercy, You’re lightening some our deserving burdens. That said, even if I were to die and taste the pang of death a million times more…I still wouldn’t know if it would do justice and erase all the sins that I’ve dwelled myself in. Astaghfirullah. Sebab seringan2 azab pun pakai selipar panas sampai otak mendidih dan lebur. Apalah sgt demam, infection, flu etc azab kat dunya ni compared to akhirat. So dear Ateeqa Nasha, be happy that Allah’s cleansing you through this minor physical pain and count your blessings. Even in pain there’s a blessing. It’s beautiful, Allah 🙂
So for as long as we are sick or in distress, let’s remind each other to curve smiles of our pretty faces because inshallah that’s when Allah is closest to us. He sends His angels to rub off the saki baki daki of dirt and germs on top of showering us with His outpouring mercy. Berapa ramai org dapat hidayah bila ditimpa musibah sakit yang perit. Jangan sebab sakit yang sikit buat kita arrogant, impatient, dissatisfied dan asyik2 nak marah pula.
Narrated ‘Abdullah: I visited the Prophet during his ailments and he was suffering from a high fever. I said, “You have a high fever. Is it because you will have a double reward for it?” He said, “Yes, for no Muslim is afflicted with any harm but that Allah will remove his sins as the leaves of a tree fall down.”
Peace out 🙂